"I guess it comes as no surprise but when i close my eyes, i see your face and it drives me crazy, and yo it drives me crazy cause i can't wait until i can just hold you and call you baby."
This line basically sums up exactly the opposite of how I feel about the opposite sex right now. I used to care about things like that more than life itself, and now it's the farthest thought from my mind. I've gotten everything I could've ever wanted in ALL of the relationships that i've had with the women that i've been with in my life, regardless of how scandalous or formal the relationship was.
I've pretty much had it all and I don't think there's much any girl can offer me anymore. I've been with pretty girls, smart girls, cool girls, ugly girls, thick girls, skinny girls, short girls, physical classifications aren't even a criteria i'm interested in anymore. Sex doesn't tempt me anymore and the idea of it does a lot less for me than it used to. The idea of lively conversation and communication far surpasses my desire for sex, as it is much harder to find than the act of consumation.
My life isn't even about finding someone anymore. I honestly don't think that I could be happy staying in one place for the rest of my life. I think that the only thing I can do to make myself happy would be to do something that everyone thinks is impossible, show it to them, and then find something new. The reason that this makes me happy of all things, is not because it shows people that i'm right or that they're wrong, it's just that it forces people to expand their views and to get out of their standard thought processes and that they and their belief systems are capable of error.
I just want to do something to help everyone.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Certificate of Love
A long time ago, I was a lot better off. A long time ago, I didn't have to worry about anything. A long time ago, I used to care about a lot of people. A long time ago, I used to think a lot of people cared about me. A long time ago, I used to be in love. A long time ago, I was given a certificate of love. Certificates are supposed to be physical manifestations of an accomplishment, something that is not supposed to be transient. Here is that certificate:
"
CERTIFICATE OF LOVE
No matter where
You are
No matter what
You do
You'll be in my
Heart
'Cause i'll always
Love you
"
A long time ago, I used to things like this literally. But i've learned to think otherwise.
I've figured out a lot of things about people and the relationships that i've had with them. I am, for the most part, alone. How many of you even know what happened to me during the summer? How many of you did something to help me or even make yourself aware of my well-being?
Being alone and going through the things i've been through for the past 2 years has taught me a few things.
1) The only person that can look out for me is me.
2) The only person that I can really trust is myself.
3) The only person that really cares about me is me.
4) The only person that can assure my survival is me.
5) The only person that I should actively worry about is me.
I used to think otherwise. But i've grown, thank you for helping me grow.
It's time for me to take my life into my own hands and do what I was meant to do with it all along; Live.
"
CERTIFICATE OF LOVE
No matter where
You are
No matter what
You do
You'll be in my
Heart
'Cause i'll always
Love you
"
A long time ago, I used to things like this literally. But i've learned to think otherwise.
I've figured out a lot of things about people and the relationships that i've had with them. I am, for the most part, alone. How many of you even know what happened to me during the summer? How many of you did something to help me or even make yourself aware of my well-being?
Being alone and going through the things i've been through for the past 2 years has taught me a few things.
1) The only person that can look out for me is me.
2) The only person that I can really trust is myself.
3) The only person that really cares about me is me.
4) The only person that can assure my survival is me.
5) The only person that I should actively worry about is me.
I used to think otherwise. But i've grown, thank you for helping me grow.
It's time for me to take my life into my own hands and do what I was meant to do with it all along; Live.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sign
Do you want to watch it all fall apart?
Every time I walk, I watch, I look, I notice, I observe.
I read the signs.
And the signs are pointing in the wrong direction.
The signs are not naming the streets or leading me to the highway,
The signs are naming names.
Tombstones to mark the dead of children not even born.
And I don't mean abortion, I mean what is to come.
The signs are telling me to turn back around.
The signs are telling me to to research my past.
The signs are telling me to learn from my mistakes.
The signs are asking me questions:
Do you want to watch it all fall apart?
Do you have any control? Is there anything you can do?
Time is not a nice person, I know because the signs said it.
Time can be generous, but ultimately, time is indifferent.
Time does not give two damns or a fuck.
So what will you do? What will we do . .?
So I'm in the middle of the street, talking to the signs, and people are looking at me, pointing and laughing, like, "This motherfucker's crazy."
But do they not see the signs? Do you not see the signs?
If there is one thing in this world that you can depend on and you can best your last dollar on, it's the ignorance of the American people.
But still I have faith, and still I read the signs.
And they are indeed there. Some of us are lost and will not find our way, no matter what the signs say.
Some of us do not see the signs because we are too busy shopping.
Some of us do not see the signs because we can't help but stop and look at the accidents, and stare.
We are in a daze, we are amazed by the world's displays.
Some of us do not see the signs because we are giving spare change to the homeless.
We are getting gas.
We are volunteering for duty.
And we are watching television.
We are driving around in circles on spinners, and we are working 8-6.
We are on our way to the club, we are high, we are drunk, and we are sober.
And we do not see the signs.
We are listening to a moron babble, we are listening to tongues that lie.
We give them and ear, we give them a hand, we give them both eyes.
So we cannot see the signs.
Slow down, children playing in these streets and they cannot read the signs, they are only children.
Stop, . . . stop!
I fear there is no u-turn, and that this road dead-ends.
Because we cannot read the signs.
Do you not see the signs? We must read the signs.
And we must turn around.
We must turn around.
We gotta turn this shit around.
And we gotta read the signs.
Every time I walk, I watch, I look, I notice, I observe.
I read the signs.
And the signs are pointing in the wrong direction.
The signs are not naming the streets or leading me to the highway,
The signs are naming names.
Tombstones to mark the dead of children not even born.
And I don't mean abortion, I mean what is to come.
The signs are telling me to turn back around.
The signs are telling me to to research my past.
The signs are telling me to learn from my mistakes.
The signs are asking me questions:
Do you want to watch it all fall apart?
Do you have any control? Is there anything you can do?
Time is not a nice person, I know because the signs said it.
Time can be generous, but ultimately, time is indifferent.
Time does not give two damns or a fuck.
So what will you do? What will we do . .?
So I'm in the middle of the street, talking to the signs, and people are looking at me, pointing and laughing, like, "This motherfucker's crazy."
But do they not see the signs? Do you not see the signs?
If there is one thing in this world that you can depend on and you can best your last dollar on, it's the ignorance of the American people.
But still I have faith, and still I read the signs.
And they are indeed there. Some of us are lost and will not find our way, no matter what the signs say.
Some of us do not see the signs because we are too busy shopping.
Some of us do not see the signs because we can't help but stop and look at the accidents, and stare.
We are in a daze, we are amazed by the world's displays.
Some of us do not see the signs because we are giving spare change to the homeless.
We are getting gas.
We are volunteering for duty.
And we are watching television.
We are driving around in circles on spinners, and we are working 8-6.
We are on our way to the club, we are high, we are drunk, and we are sober.
And we do not see the signs.
We are listening to a moron babble, we are listening to tongues that lie.
We give them and ear, we give them a hand, we give them both eyes.
So we cannot see the signs.
Slow down, children playing in these streets and they cannot read the signs, they are only children.
Stop, . . . stop!
I fear there is no u-turn, and that this road dead-ends.
Because we cannot read the signs.
Do you not see the signs? We must read the signs.
And we must turn around.
We must turn around.
We gotta turn this shit around.
And we gotta read the signs.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Thoughts
I have no clear thoughts in m head as of the past year almost. All I know for sure is that as is said in the famous song Row Your Boat, "Life is but a dream." I'm sure of that and what I want in life. All I want is what i've always wanted. What i'm sure most of you want. I want someone that loves me for who I am. Someone that I love for who they are. And someone that I can enjoy this ride of a ride with until it's over. These have been my only clear thoughts in the past year.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Are You Not Entertained?
“Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.”
-Robert Anton Wilson
I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns, and women, join the unqualified men in running our government.
~Cissy Farenthold
What experience and history teach is this that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles.
~Hegel
What does democratic mean when political parties don't have different ideological beliefs and different visions of the nature of the system and where the promised land lies -so that they can debate alternative roads to the future?
Elections become popularity polls swirling around trivial issues and dependent upon who looks best on television. Elections come to be seen as replacement of one set of crooks with another set of crooks...Real democracy demands real ideological alternatives at election time or it becomes an exercise in trivialism... To work, democracy needs a vision of utopia-a route to a better society-a vision of what it is that transforms narrow sectarian self-interest.
Lester C. Thurow
-Robert Anton Wilson
I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns, and women, join the unqualified men in running our government.
~Cissy Farenthold
What experience and history teach is this that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles.
~Hegel
What does democratic mean when political parties don't have different ideological beliefs and different visions of the nature of the system and where the promised land lies -so that they can debate alternative roads to the future?
Elections become popularity polls swirling around trivial issues and dependent upon who looks best on television. Elections come to be seen as replacement of one set of crooks with another set of crooks...Real democracy demands real ideological alternatives at election time or it becomes an exercise in trivialism... To work, democracy needs a vision of utopia-a route to a better society-a vision of what it is that transforms narrow sectarian self-interest.
Lester C. Thurow
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
New Playlist
The new playlist is up. Mostly CYNE and Nujabes. Real Hip Hop, not Hip POP.
"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth - more than death. Thought is subversive, and revolutionary, destructive and terrible; thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless to the well-tried wisdom of the ages. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid... Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
But if thought is to become the possession of the many, and not the privilege of the few, we must have done with fear. It is fear that holds men back - fear that their cherished beliefs should prove delusions, fear lest the institutions by which they live should prove harmful, fear lest they themselves prove less worthy to the respect than they have supposed themselves to be."
~ Bertrand Russell
"Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth - more than death. Thought is subversive, and revolutionary, destructive and terrible; thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habits; thought is anarchic and lawless, indifferent to authority, careless to the well-tried wisdom of the ages. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid... Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
But if thought is to become the possession of the many, and not the privilege of the few, we must have done with fear. It is fear that holds men back - fear that their cherished beliefs should prove delusions, fear lest the institutions by which they live should prove harmful, fear lest they themselves prove less worthy to the respect than they have supposed themselves to be."
~ Bertrand Russell
Saturday, November 1, 2008
When do people get tired of doing the same things over and over again?
I think people get tired of the cycle when they realize that they are actively entrenched in one. When they realize that no matter what they do while they're in the cycle, the same result will always follow. They'll realize the necessity of getting out of the cycle when they realize that nothing fruitful will come from it, and thus come to the conclusion that it is against their own existence to participate in one.
What makes people become aware of the cycles that they actively participate in? That's the real question.
I already know the answerrrrrr
What makes people become aware of the cycles that they actively participate in? That's the real question.
I already know the answerrrrrr
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